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Home  Here's My Story
Amber's Story My name is Amberlyn and I have a fatal disease called Cystic Fibrosis. I've had a lot of time to sit here and think about my life and how far I've come! I figured I'd share it with you. I'm quite open about my disease and the situation I'm in. I used to keep it quiet and hidden because guys and even "friends" would treat me different. As I got older and have had my brush with death I've learned that I need to embrace my life and accept what I have. God doesn't give us things that He knows we can't overcome, everything happens for a reason. God has a plan, and it's not up to us to question Him, but yet to accept it and learn from it! And with age I have learned this simple fact of life, I could sit in my room and dwell on how bad my life is and ask "Why Me", but having spent ALOT of time in the hospital I have seen children, babies and adults who have it worse than I do! I see these kids and feel so selfish for me being scared sometimes. Compared to some I have it easy, I admire the will and courage of kids and teens who have cancer, diabetes, MS, Spinal Bifida, Cerebral Palsy, and other illnesses. From a young age I have interacted with others who had a sort of illness and we shared something in common, being in the hospital, being sick, and being around the same age. Most of my friends have come and gone, due sadly to death, some moved and we sadly lost contact! I didn't learn of their deaths until I was old enough for my mama to tell me and I actually understand. It was then that I looked back and thought what if they had been better, how would their life had been, or I would wish they weren't so sick, and then I would think that me complaining all the time about having to do a stupid breathing treatment was selfish and totally uncalled for. Because you see I was still alive, they weren't. So doing those treatments didn’t seem so dumb anymore. And knowing what I know now, I wish I could go back in time and help make their last few days here on earth not so painful! I love meeting new people and helping in any way possible. I don't pity the people I meet, because I know I don't want people to pity me for what I have, nothing is worse than someone being my friend because they feel sorry for me! There is WAY more to me than my illness, get to know me for me, not because you feel bad. So through what I have been through I like to be there for others and help them as much as I can, be a shoulder to cry on, or someone to talk to. Having been in the hospital so much I liked to meet new people and have someone to hang out with or just talk to.  One friend, his name was Kevin, he was 7 and I was about 5. He had cancer and when I met him he wasn't in too good of condition. He was on chemo, lost all his hair, lost alot of weight, was forced into a wheel chair, his skin was almost transparent, but his eyes had a passion of life. I met him at his low. We became friends. There would be times when he couldn't leave his room so I'd go to his and we'd do crafts or watch a movie. He got sick from the chemo. I got better, he didn't. I hated to leave the hospital and leave Kevin, but I had to go back to school, something that Kevin hadn't been able to do in a while. I continued to think of Kevin and keep him in my prayers, but sadly Kevin didn't leave the hospital. At a later age my mama told me Kevin had passed on, it was a hard reality I had to face! My dear friend Melissa whom I met through the CF clinic also had CF. We had a lot on common, we were close in age, had bad CF in our lungs, and were both Military brats. Her father was in the military and eventually he got orders for them to move. Our mothers kept in contact throughout the years, and sadly each letter informed us of Melissa's declining health. She kept getting sick and was soon unable to gain weight. She was on oxygen 24/7, had to withdraw from school, was forced into a wheel chair and was on pain meds. Melissa got the news of her needing a lung transplant but with the up most maturity beyond her years, she told the doctors and her parents that she didn't want the transplant because she wanted to be to same person God created when she went to Heaven. Melissa was then faced with the fact that life was soon going to end. She was never going to be able to see her senior prom, so her parents put together "Melissa's Senior Prom", inviting her closest friends, got her all dolled up and made sure she had a night to remember. Melissa lived her last few months living life as normal as possible with her family and friends. Melissa passed away September 11, 2004. I took this really hard, harder than I had ever before. It was the first experience that yes CF actually kills! I was devastated. I also met a sweet girl named Emily, she was precious. I met her when I was 8 and she was about 5 I think, we were playing BINGO in the play room, she was with her dad. I first noticed Emily's laugh, then the same look in her eyes that Kevin had that passion for life. Emily too had cancer. Emily had amazing brown curly locks, but due to the chemo she was losing her hair, she hated to see it go, so her dad said if she shaved her head, he would shave his too! So Emily was bald, but still an amazingly gorgeous little girl with so much life. We soon became friends and we played with "farting" putty and played board games and went to the play room! I was in the hospital for a "clean out" and was in for two weeks, Emily came in because her white blood cell count dropped, and she soon got better and was able to go home. I was sad to see her go, but glad she was better. But sadly later that night Emily was rushed back to the hospital, her mama had the nurse come get me to come see her. She desperately needed a shot to help with her blood cell count but wouldn't be still, so I got in there and grabbed her hand and talked to her while they gave her the shot. I had given her a horse that was identical to the one I had that she liked. She always had it with her!! I lost contact with Emily but last I knew she was doing fine, enjoying childhood as much as possible. I also met other friends who had accidents and were paralyzed, and some who were getting transplants, some others who were just sick, none the less, we helped each other through hard times, and that's what means the most!! The one thing that we had in common was that we were all afflicted with a deadly disease, were in and out of the hospital all our lives but most importantly…we had family that was there with us every step of the way. While in the hospital I would notice children that were not as lucky as us. They were there with no one to visit or be with them. As I got older going through my hospitalizations, I would still see children alone. For the past 13 years I have spent my Christmas’ in the hospital and that was the most difficult for me to understand to have a child in the hospital and not no one be there for you much less a present to open. Christmas is the one time of year that EVERY child looks forward too. It was during my freshman year of high school that I decided I wanted to somehow change that. After talking to my family and telling them how I felt, they supported me and I started Amber’s Angels. The main mission of Amber’s Angels is to make Christmas Gift bags for ALL the children in the hospital during Christmas. I want to show these precious children that they are thought of and that someone does care. I have made it this far in life thanks to the help of my family and friends, and not to mention my faith in the Lord my Father. Through all these hard times when I felt like the world was crashing down on my shoulders, it was God who was there to see me through it! I'm not scared to die, by all means I don't want to, but I'm not scared. I know I'm going to heaven free from pain and heartache. I'm ready to meet my Father; I hope that I have spread His word and helped others find his/her way. I realize that life is too short to take things for granted! I enjoy the small things in life, if I can put a smile on someone's face; I know I've done my job. I feel it's my calling to help others through the knowledge that I have obtained having been faced with my own obstacles. I know what it's like to be at your lowest, I want to help as many as possible, it's like what Ghandi has said "be the difference you want to see in the world". I want to leave a mark on this world….. I want to make a difference!! Amberlyn Fett, Oct 2008
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